Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Holy sore nipples Batman
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
