just come out here and I will go home with you...
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
