I drank myself into bisexuality again.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
