capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
