sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
my god I love twenty year old dicks
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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