i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
