Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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