dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
