mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
