i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize