spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
