so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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