im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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