Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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