C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
