Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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