is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
