Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
