its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
