Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
