i would punch a child for taco bell
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
