you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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