Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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