I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
as a side note pls kill me
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
