I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You are the jesus of drinking
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
