Walk of Shame. In a state park.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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