Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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