And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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