I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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