Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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