You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
