I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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