it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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