Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
