honey bunches of taint.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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