i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
