he wants to bone in the snuggie
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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