I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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