Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
