Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
