Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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