Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
