I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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