obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
