Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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