My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Randomize
