Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
so much tequila, so little girl.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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