i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
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