I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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