Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
