Got a toothbrush?
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
