so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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