I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
