would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
