i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize