is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
How does it feel to date your dad?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
