so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize