I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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