So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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