he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
