omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
